Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
