This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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