can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
