i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
