i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
