I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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