I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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