hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
