Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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