mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
