Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
