just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
