Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
