you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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