I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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