Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
