Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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