So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
