Me. At least after what I've been through.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
