There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
