this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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