But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize