Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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