i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
