When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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