Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
