He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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