the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize