is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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