More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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