my soul wont recognize me after tonight
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
