Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
