Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Damn victory sex feels great
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