Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
