moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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