ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
