i think my tv is drunk
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
