You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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