Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
