My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
