First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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