It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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