I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
