it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
