it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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