Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Pappa wants mamma naked
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Drake has all the answers
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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