Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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