the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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