...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Boobs are out for the taking
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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