..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
