He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
