on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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