I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
