my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
