You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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