i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
