Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
