best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
